Feeling Failure

Day two of this blogging thing. I remembered as I was falling asleep last night to mention one thing. I am out of school. Not like I have graduated, but I'm literally out of school. This is the third year in a row that I have been doing work from home. That has taken a huge blow to my self confidence, but I am trying to work around it and just stay positive. I feel ok today, a little sad I didn't make it to school, as I try every day, but that's the only sadness I feel. Sometimes I feel like a failure when I don't make it to school. Without school, I can't get anywhere in life, so I am genuinely scared and unsure about the future. Now it is time to put all of the worrying aside and focus on school work. Thanks for reading!

Fed Up With Love

Well...here I am. At 10:15 at night on a Thursday. A 15 year old girl, struggling to be happy, talking to you. I guess struggling to be happy may be a little much, because I am happy...I think. Depression hit me like a ton of bricks. I am normally in a good mood, I have a lot to be grateful for. 2 loving parents, an amazing family, and friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin. But for some reason, I let sadness into my life. Through love. The kind of love that breaks everybody's heart at 15 years old. The kind of love that "doesn't mean a thing." I'm not the most popular girl at school, and boys know that. They have called me a lot of names (too salty to put on here), said I am ugly, and that I should kill myself. The worst part is, I had feelings for a couple of them. I fall in love too easy and I give boys too much power. That's really it in a nutshell. I could go on and on about each guy and say exactly what happened, but all I am going to tell you is that it has made me miserable. Hopefully you stick around and watch my life unravel with me. It is going to be one hell of a ride.